Roast Chicken for Two, a Recipe

Step 1: Preheat your oven. Step 2: Wash chicken. Step 3: Have sex with your partner.

By Michael Ruhlman

Illustration by Alex Eben Meyer. Click image to expand.

Roast Chicken for Two

Step 1: Preheat your oven to 425˚F or, if you have ventilation, 450˚F, and use convection heat if it’s available.

Step 2: Wash and pat dry a 3- to 4-pound chicken. Truss it if you know how, or stuff 2 lemon halves in its cavity. Season it aggressively with kosher or sea salt (it should have a nice crust of salt). Put it in a skillet and slide it into the hot oven.

Step 3: Have sex with your partner. (This can require planning, occasionally some conniving. But as cooks tend to be resourceful and seductive by nature, most find that it’s not the most difficult part of the recipe.)

Step 4: Remove the chicken from the oven after it’s cooked for 1 hour, allow it to rest for 15 minutes, and serve.

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